I don’t think my wife ever really wanted a divorce; but she threatened me so often that one day I snapped and decided to turn her threats into reality. The Divorce Attorneys I chose are Specialist Divorce and Family Law Attorneys, Martin Vermaak Attorneys.
For five years I’d listened to her threats of what she would do to me if I didn’t accede to all her demands. In all that time she was a demanding drama queen one and made life impossible for me. I’d endured more than a man should have to tolerate. Whatever bad things she could do to me would never be worse than all those threats, embarrassment and shame she had caused me.
Sitting in a boardroom at my Divorce Attorneys, I did something I thought I’d never do because it was so shameful: I revealed to them the details of my marriage and how my wife had verbally, emotionally, and financially abused me.
At first it was very difficult – no one ever wants to admit they’ve been abused over a long period of time and done nothing about it: especially a man! Eventually the words came spilling out and I couldn’t stop myself; as I spoke I felt as though all the pain and suffering was finally going to ease up and free me from the burden of that woman.
The Divorce Attorneys listened, asked questions and took notes. They didn’t laugh; they didn’t ask why I hadn’t made an appointment years earlier; they encouraged me to disclose every detail and re-assured me in a manner that made me feel safe and justified in my divorce action.
I told them my wife was better educated than myself (an accepted situation for Indian men these days) and that she was also quite an accomplished pianist. Buying a piano for her – and of course a home with enough room for the piano and entertaining food and music hungry guests – put me in debt for the rest of my life. That was just the beginning.
When I met and married her she had a job that she saidwas superior to mine: she mentioned it often in public. I was involved in my family’s restaurant which wasn’t good enough for her. She said she made more money than I did but she lavished her salary upon herself with nothing towards the household. It seemed as though she was in constant competition with me when all I wanted was a loving wife and family life. I told her this one foolish evening when I thought we were close. A few months after that, she left her job because she was pregnant and couldn’t bear the people at work to see her like that.
After our daughter was born she pulled away from me. She showed almost no interest in our little girl but no interest in returning to work. She blamed me for the pregnancy and said she was going to stay home and rule the house.
She was a cruel queen with a demanding demeanour and a relentless greed. She was a member of the best clubs, socialised with the upper set, dressed like a model, and often spent days at luxury health spas. The bills for all this made my life a total misery.
I invested in a garage for her to manage with a few little shops – newsstand, and coffee and pies, etc. I thought it would keep her busy and give her purpose. I realised that the more I earned the more she spent so I put the onus on her to turn the garage business into a success. She seemed to have plans so I left her to her own devices and looked in on the garage from time to time. It seemed to be going slowly but when I tried to make suggestions for improved business she bit my head off, so for the sake of peace I backed off and left her to her own devices.
My own days were exhausting as I seemed to spend my time at the family business, bringing up our young daughter, making sure she ate healthily and dressed well, ferrying her to and from school and after school activities – something the wife never did. I enjoyed every moment together with my daughter as she was my life and I didn’t want her to grow up to be like her mother. After putting my daughter to bed, my evenings were spent being scorned or ignored by the wife or enjoying her absence; my nights were full of worries and nightmares. The marriage was a mess.
Someone, I think it was one of my cousins, said my troubles were going to get worse and I should seek the advice of a Divorce Attorney. I pretended to look surprised, even shocked that they could say that to me; yet even then I knew they were right.
The garage business seemed busy but not making money. The wife made many excuses why I couldn’t see the books, and I began to suspect that someone was embezzling. There were also whispers among my family and friends that the wife was having an affair but I refused to listen. She was complaining bitterly about the garage, about having to do her own driving, about needing more staff, and demanding I purchase a holiday home so she could get away and rest.
Sitting with my Divorce Attorneys I told them, it was about then that the wheels fell off. I had been so concerned about her telling me I wasn’t worthy of her,and not good enoughfor a woman of her importance, that I hadn’t even stopped to consider if this was what I really wanted. She had whispered, shouted and screamed divorce at me for so long that I was convinced I was running away from it. Actually I was running from her. There was no real life with her.
My family said divorce would bring shame; my wife said the same. However, there can be no shame without pride and my wife’s ruthless abuse had stripped me of mine. My wife was outraged but I could now see the cracks appear in her composure and noticed the fear in her eyes. I urged my Specialist Divorce and Family Law Attorneys to hasten the divorce action.
Later, she confessed to the affair but after that, in a process my Divorce Attorneys aptly call Discovery, a Forensic Audit showed she’d been skimming money and now had a large amount salted away! I was devastated.
Martin Vermaak Attorneys proceeded with the matter and they were very good because they anticipated things I wasn’t capable of considering whilst in my divorce induced emotional turmoil. Thanks to all their patience, thoroughness and expertise, I was granted custody of my daughter. My ex-wife didn’t destroy me financially as she had threated, and I ended up with much more than I thought I would have. The garage business was sold and I divided my share between the restaurant and a Trust Fund for my daughter.
That first consult with my Specialist Divorce Attorneys is something that will stay in my memory. It’s in that first few minutes or so that you decide if you can trust and respect these people and work with them. That’s the day I made the hardest and best decision of my life: one that changed mine and my daughter’s life forever.
I decided to be free and chose to be happy and have a good future. That’s not an easy choice to make and, in a way, it’s the Divorce Attorneys who make it for you…. Martin Vermaak Attorneys convinced me to move on with my life – without saying a single word!