My wife divorced me just over two years ago. There was a lot of hurt and although I have to admit I did have an affair or two while we were married – they never really meant anything to me – it was just a bit of fun. What really upset me was I was almost certain she’d been unfaithful to me. We fought a lot over that and she took out a Protection Order against me because I lost my temper. Cut a long story short, we ended up getting divorced: she had proof of my several affairs; and I’d beaten her silly when she confronted me. So she used Attorneys and I didn’t.
I wanted to do the right thing by my two little girls and was prepared to pay a fair amount of monthly maintenance. My friends said I’d caused enough trouble and should stay away from everything legal. My temper gets the better of me and I don’t know when to stop. My family said ‘don’t put up a fight – just go with the flow’. Like a damned idiot I listened to them all. When I was invited to a round table meeting with her and her Attorneys I didn’t go. I just told them I’d fall in with whatever they decided.
The monthly maintenance was a fairly stiff amount. I paid it, of course, without complaining but then it started to affect the rest of my life.
Firstly, I’d tried to keep a fairly friendly relationship with my ex after the divorce – partly for my daughters’ sakes but also partly because I really liked her and felt I could have been a better husband to her. However, the high monthly maintenance caused problems. Some months she told me straight she really didn’t need so much and then other months when she needed more, I just couldn’t help her. Unfortunately, she was never very good in handling money so; whatever came into her hands went out just as quickly.
During the next year it put a terrible strain on us and we argued a lot. One day, we got to the point where we couldn’t stop arguing. I knew I had to do something about it.
I’d heard about Maintenance Attorneys at Martin Vermaak Attorneys from a colleague of mine – but I thought they were only for people about to go through divorce. Anyway, I went to see them and told them the whole boring story. They were so good. They listened to me and explained the whole maintenance thing to me, including my options. They then contacted my wife, and we all arrived at a more suitable arrangement for both of us. They went to Court for this and the upshot is that my life is so much happier now that I wish I’d done this a long time ago.
Today I can sit and have a cup of coffee with my ex wife without getting into an argument. I pay a monthly amount of maintenance that is slightly less than before, but when the ex needs extra cash for school trips, dance or music lessons and the like, I’m always there to help her financially.
Let me tell you that the maintenance subject in this country is still not properly understood. There are a lot of people who think it’s a joke and some think it’s a weapon with which to punish their ex husbands.
The truth is, when we don’t understand something we should get the right information as quickly as possible; and the best way to do that is to see the experts. In this case the Specialist Maintenance Attorneys.
I cannot tell you just how grateful to them I am for the help and information they gave me. I can manage my monthly maintenance payments and I can help out with extra financial assistance when needed. I know where my money is going to and I still feel a part of my daughters’ lives.
My ex wife and I are much friendlier and often discuss our own separate private lives with each other - just like a pair of good old friends still supporting each other.
The funny thing is, the reason I never went to the Specialist Maintenance Attorneys at Martin Vermaak in the first place was not because I couldn’t afford them, but because I thought they might laugh at me and I didn’t understand how the maintenance thing works.