This is basically when you are bullied; humiliated – especially in public; threatened; insulted; or when someone calls you names or destroys or throws things around you, or punches the wall or the table in front of you thus causing you to feel fearful. So that you are not physically harmed but at the same time you feel frightened and threatened.
Emotional abuse can take many forms and is broken down into sub sections because of it. However, it all comes down to the same thing – you are the victim of abuse.
One of the biggest parts and most driving forces behind emotional abuse is the abuser’s need to Control. This involves anger; jealousy; distrust; and accusations. Control abuse isn’t always easy to identify because it involves psychological intimidation – the results of which aren’t immediately visible – also it easily can be mistaken for passion.
Look at the list of the warning signs below because you may discover that you are already a victim of Emotional Abuse without even knowing it:
1. Verbal Abuse - Name calling, swearing and shouting – whether in company or alone
2. Bullying or other behaviour in company that you have to make apologies
3. Unreasonable jealousy and possessiveness when you acknowledge, talk to, or spend time with other people
4. Behaviour that makes you feel depressed and that you have to apologise or make excuses for
5. Frequent phone calls, text messages, emails etc., checking up on you
6. You often feel scared and afraid of making your partner angry or upsetting
7. You often feel guilty about yourself and sometimes are convinced that it all your fault, because your partner/spouse has managed to project all their problems onto you and are blaming you for their inadequacies
8. Your partner/spouse uses threats of violence to ensure they maintain the control.
9. You feel depressed and unhappy a lot of the time; always watching your own behaviour
10. Your partner has made statements like “I’ll kill myself if you leave me” or “I can’t live without you”
11. You know your partner has hurt other people in some way or another – you may have even witnessed it
12. You find yourself lying to your family, friends and colleagues about the bruises and cuts you have
13. You feel trapped, isolated and cut off from others and you don’t spend much or any time with your friends anymore
14. Your partner/spouse may even have constant affairs outside the home
15. You begin to malfunction either through sleep deprivation; depression; an ulcer; or some other physical manifestation for which you must seek medical or psychological help
As you can see, the abuser will attempt to control an innocent partner or spouse. This often leads to creating a domestic violence situation. The results of this treatment are overwhelming and demoralising for a recipient who is already suffering from low-esteem because of this conduct.
Unfortunately, the abuser – who has now learned that they can control your actions through threats of violence - usually manages to convince the partner/spouse that they caused this behaviour and are therefore the guilty ones. The person being abused immediately seeks forgiveness and attempts to atone for their ‘bad behaviour’ thinking that they are really terrible people. They remain in the relationship and so the cycle becomes more and more violent and lethal. The abused becomes more so and is too ashamed to seek the help and assistance they so badly need and deserve.
So, no matter what type of abuse it is – it’s wrong and must be made to stop immediately.