I was in love with her – it happened fast. She was gorgeous and I seemed to get very needy when I was around her. Maybe I became a bit of a pushover but it was only natural. She used to do quite a bit of modelling and a lot of men found her irresistible. After we met, we dated for a few months; and looking back, I can see how she led me on. Eventually I started to get serious, and it was almost as though she was willing me to fall in love with her. I couldn’t help myself. I needed this love. I’d had several failed affairs and had started to think of myself as being hopeless with women.
What I didn’t know was that at that same time she was actually having a big affair with an older, married guy. Apparently he was going to set her up in her own apartment – which meant she could get out of the township and establish herself in a good area with a better standard of living.
The story goes that he was married, he had kids, and he would never change that – he’d made it very clear. Later, I found out that she’d nearly lost him when she’d hinted at Divorce Lawyers. Apparently she’d become obsessed with thoughts of what would happen if he changed his mind about her when he got a little older? She wondered what would happen to her if he got tired of her and replaced her with a newer, younger model. At night, the ‘what ifs’ got the better of her and sometimes she couldn’t sleep.
Not sleeping affected her looks; her face and figure were her fortune so she had to look good. She drank a lot but that knocked her out early and woke her up in the middle of the night. She took drugs – illegal substances – she said it was to help her relax and sleep. She’d been doing it for years and couldn’t see anything wrong with it. I imagined she had taken the modelling work at a means of supporting her habit. I tried to suggest rehab but I didn’t want to lose her; when she got angry and said she wasn’t an addict, I didn’t push it...I just backed off.
Clearly, when I walked into her life it was her solution; her deliverance; her insurance policy. Now she could forget about threatening the other guy with Divorce Lawyers! I was much nearer her age, fairly attractive, white, a well bred city boy banker you might say. She was quite taken with me, and went out of her way to make sure I noticed her and became attached to her. We dated for a couple of months and she encouraged me shamelessly – but I didn’t mind, I was happy! I never realised I was her backup plan. I was plan B – how did I miss that?
She had a big fight with her Roomie (the girl who she shared a township place with) and asked to move in with me for a while. I was only too happy to oblige, but when she moved in with me she downplayed everything and kept me at arm’s length. I’m the possessive and jealous type so I thought something was wrong, but she was playing me.
She went to the trouble of making sure I knew about her affair with the older, married man, and it hurt me. She blurted out that this guy was going to set her up in her own place. I couldn’t bear this and countered by telling her I would help her get an apartment instead so that I didn’t have to worry about her getting help from the older man. She accepted my offer of an apartment – but I seem to recall that she never promised to stop seeing her older lover.
A little financial re-arranging and a few months later, as good as my word, I’d got an apartment for her. About that time she found out she was pregnant and told me I was the father. I was so happy; I said I would take care of everything – and I meant it.
Then she slipped up and I found out she was still sleeping with the older guy: I went nuts. She broke up with me and told me the baby father might be the older guy. The pain was too much to bear. I just shut her out of my life and threw myself into work. I think I went too far because I didn’t hear from her for a few months.
One day, she just walked up to me in the car park as I was leaving the office – she was sorry and had decided to eat humble pie. She said she couldn’t live without me. I took her back of course – just as she knew I would – and all was forgiven. At our next little fight, she threatened me with an abortion; I just shut up and gave in. I thought about going to Family Law Attorneys to straighten things out between us but she wouldn’t hear of it and we nearly fought.
She gave birth to my little girl last year and I expected things to be perfect but she was off...something was wrong... She hinted about marriage but then talked about the other guy and that angered and confused me so I remained silent and decided not to change things. Again I thought of going to Divorce and Family Law Attorneys to legalise my daughter’s position in my life but I hesitated and then left it.
The less I said about the future, the more she wanted to hurt me. She was pushing for something but I couldn’t figure out what it was. Finally she threatened to take my baby daughter and go to live far away. She told me I’d never see my daughter again and that I’d have to pay a lot more than I was already paying if I wanted to keep my daughter in my life. At first I believed her because the Courts always favour the Mothers – everybody knows that.
As I thought about it, I realised that she’d pushed me so far that either way, I was losing everything. So instead, I fought back. I found Specialist Divorce and Family Law Lawyers and booked a consult with the owner, Martin Vermaak. He explained that I did have rights as a Father and I instructed his Firm to assist me.
This Firm of Specialist Divorce and Family Law Lawyers have been incredible. I already have permanent residence (custody) of my daughter – the mother being granted supervised contact as she was considered an unfit mother.
I’ll be a much better parent; I can give her a stable home and a loving environment; I can also ensure she receives a good standard of education. We’ll both be very happy.
Guess what the mother said to me on the last contact visit when I was explaining all the benefits? She said that wasn’t the point; she’s the mother and the mother should have all the power. With her daughter gone, what leverage would she have? She said, she’d had to make more sacrifices than I had but where were her benefits?