We’d made arrangements for me to collect the children on Saturday morning at 10h00. When I reached the house it seemed silent; the garage door was open and her car was gone. The bell worked and I pressed it many times and waited for over fifteen minutes not wanting to accept that they weren’t there. This was the part where I was always reminded of the advice I’d ignored - to see Specialist Divorce Lawyers and get the arrangements formalised.
I was surprised she answered her cell phone – she so often didn’t when I called. They were out shopping for a few things and were running late: they’d be back in an hour or so – she’d phone me.
Sitting in the coffee shop at the nearby shopping square, my coffee went cold while I watched the minutes drag their way through a silent hour. I was twisting my cell phone around in my hands and wondering if she would call me.
I’m not a very patient man and I sat remembering how many times she’d kept me waiting whilst our marriage was still happy. Maybe we’d separated because her lack of punctuality made me too angry and she had a tantrum when I didn’t indulge her: or maybe it was because I’d grown too impatient with her selfish ways. During the separation one thing had emerged that really got my attention: she used the kids like little chess pieces or bargaining chips. My kids were my Achilles heel; she knew it and she played it for all it was worth. It was worth a lot because it gave her more power than she’d ever had while we were happily married and living together.
My parents and my friends continued to push me in the direction of Divorce Lawyers but stubbornly I stood my ground thinking that once I went in that direction it was all over and divorce would probably happen almost before I’d driven out of the Lawyers’ car park. Quite frankly I was scared of divorce. Not of losing her – she was already out of my life - I hadn’t put up that much of a fight because it was never a good match. No, what worried me was she’d told me I would never see the kids again. I was pretty sure she could do it. They say the mother always gets the kids and the maintenance no matter how hard the father fights. I couldn’t live without my kids. She was successfully blackmailing me. The maintenance I paid her was more than I could afford but it was worth it not to lose my kids. I sort of knew that Divorce Lawyers could make this right but I didn’t want to admit it. How was I going to cope with the financial side of paying her, paying them, treating my kids and staying alive? I was good at maths and I figured there was no way I could win.
By midday I’d left the coffee place and phoned her again. She was irritated by my call, said she’d try to be back with the kids at 1pm and hung up. I’d felt foolish and paced up and down for a while outside some shops. Eventually I bought a newspaper and ordered lunch at another little cafe so I could pass the time pushing my uneaten toasted sandwich around on the plate.
I knew this game and I’d never won. She would either rock up after 3pm and tell me it was too late; or simply not pitch at all until nightfall by which stage of events I would have given up and gone back to my own home. On this occasion it was the latter scenario and I’d already stored the stuff I’d bought for the kids back in my cupboard, ready for the next time. These same presents had been put in the car and then back in the cupboard already twice before now – so you’re getting a good idea of the picture. It was like being stuck in some time capsule with no hope of going back or forward: condemned to repeat this cycle for the rest of my life.
That night I couldn’t sleep and my brain was doing crazy things – like haunting me with visions of all the things that could go wrong and get worse. In fact, that night, something inside me snapped and when I got up the next morning I knew things would never be the same again.
Martin Vermaak Specialist Divorce and Family Law Lawyers were easy to find. They’ve got maps on their websites and even my GPS was intent on getting me to the right address. They’d handled a very messy divorce for a colleague of mine with such discretion and expertise that he’d come out of it with his sanity and savings intact and had been singing their praises ever since.
In addition to being impatient, I’m also a very private person so I won’t go into detail but I am embarrassed to admit that I was never more wrong. These Specialist Divorce Lawyers enlightened me and helped me understand that the mothers don’t always get the kids and the money. They explained to me how the Law applied itself to my particular situation and showed me I had choices. That was a revelation for me. It was like being set free. I had been misinformed all these years and never knew that I had rights and choices, support and options.
It was only then that I realised I’d almost become a shadow of the man I used to be. Naturally, I instructed the Specialist Divorce Lawyers of Martin Vermaak to assist me with my matter and now I fully understand why a person should seek the services of a Lawyer who specialises in the field of law with which they need assistance. They caused a lot of changes in my life – all for the better.
They put a parenting plan in place and maintenance was agree upon and we both had to reach a compromise but in the end, it worked.
On Saturday I will arrive at her door at 09h00 and she will open it and the kids will rush up to me and nearly knock me over with their excitement at seeing me for the weekend. She won’t be too pleasant but she will have packed an overnight bag for them which she’ll hand to me before closing the door. She won’t phone because she’ll know that the next day, on Sunday at 4pm, I’ll be back with the kids.
How do I know this? Because it’s been this way for the last three months since the Specialist Divorce and Family Law Lawyers at Martin Vermaak made it happen for me. I’ll never listen to old wives’ tales again – they nearly ruined my life. I am grateful to my Ex for one thing though: I’m grateful to her for letting me down that final time. If she hadn’t done that, she’d still be winning and I’d still be talking to cold coffee and tired toasted sandwiches!