Bongi's Story

Bongi Divorce Story

My husband started behaving differently and being more pleasant in his everyday dealings with me. I should have realised it was a signal that something was changing in his life. He was more approachable so that even though he still denied me things, he did it in a nicer way. Around the house he was quite affable and from time to time I even heard him whistling a little tune to himself– just like he used to do years ago. My family said I should go immediately to Divorce Attorneys and not trust this pleasant turn of events.

We’d had a lot of bad years where everything had turned sour and we’d turned our backs on each other to the point where we were almost living separate lives: me at home alone and him out with his friends.

I’d wanted to have his friends over to visit the house for social evenings but he’d been reluctant to bring them home. My next suggestion had been that I should join him and his friends on their evenings and weekends out and about: he’d been adamant that would never happen. He’d seemed to be ashamed of me, so I’d resigned myself to the curious and lonely life I had, telling myself it was a phase we were passing through. My friends said I was giving in too easily and should visit Divorce Attorneys to find out about my rights.

One day I tried to draw money but there were insufficient funds. Shortly after that I received accounts for things I had not purchased. Then a car disappeared and my husband muttered something about an accident, but time passed and the car didn’t materialise. I decided to investigate and discovered that my husband had started to reduce our joint estate by slowing selling off small properties and other assets. All of this had been without my knowledge or permission. I told my best friend and she was so angry about him that she even offered to go with me to the Divorce Attorneys.

We’d been married in community of property and I’d brought a sizeable value add to our joint estate with properties, a business and cars when we got married – courtesy of my rich parents. That was over ten years ago so the value was much increased.

Busy with small kids, I hadn’t really noticed him slipping further and further away from us ‘til it was too late. The kids were always in bed when he came home. At weekends, to get more business, he was out impressing his rich friends. He became an absent husband and father: a man we spoke about but who rarely materialised to participate in our everyday lives.

After many months of trying to reason with him, he’d became so nasty that he’deventually assumed the role of my abuser. I’d stopped begging him to be part of our lives. No longer did I look forward to his arrival at the house – I dreaded it. Soon I’d begun to believe it when he’d said I’d brought this on myself and the children. Guilt had arrived and enveloped me and I was caught up in a situation of damned if I don’t and damned if I do. At that stage I’d given up and left him alone to live his life while I’d tolerated his abuse. I thought about getting legal advice on my marriage but wasn’t really ready to end everything.

With this horrible news I’d just discovered, I once again confronted him; asking why he’d done it and why he’d not discussed it with me first. He looked at me in complete disgust and laughed and I realised there was nothing left between us. For the first time ever, I told him I couldn’t continue this way and was thinking of going to Divorce Attorneys.

A couple of weeks after that, I got an email from his Attorneys telling me I had to visit them and sign some documents in a divorce settlement. My friends and family said I must be mad to take that seriously and this time I listened and agreed to seek legal advice.

Martin Vermaak Attorneys were recommended to me by my best friend, and she accompanied me on my first consult with Specialist Divorce Attorneys at their Sandton Branch. The meeting was a revelation to me. All those years I’d felt ashamed and guilty and suddenly these Divorce Attorney were being kind and helpful.

They explained to me what my rights were and answered all my questions, plus some that I hadn’t even thought of asking. When the consult was over I really felt quite relieved and that night I slept better than I had for almost a year.

I didn’t go to my husband’s Attorneys or sign any papers for them because I now understood that his Attorneys would look after him and not put my best interests first. Instead, I instructed Martin Vermaak Specialist Divorce Attorneys and, looking back, it’s the best decision I’d made in years. They stopped him from selling off our assets and handled my matter with a care and dedication that I never expected from professional people.

My daughters are happier since they’ve stopped waiting for their father to come home. They live with me and he is too busy with his fancy friends to visit us. Martin Vermaak Attorneys drew up the documents in a way that keeps him paying the child maintenance and honouring the rest of the agreement.

These days, when one of my friends or family have marriage issues, I tell them to go and see Martin Vermaak Attorneys. I always say they should go as soon as the bad stuff starts and get guidance from a Specialist Divorce and Family Law Attorney – I haven’t looked back since my first consult!